The Birthday Blues

Dear Diary,

I find myself slipping down into the dumps. You would think that with a birthday on the way I would be excited to say the least, but my birthday is only adding to my melancholy. As the day draws near, my homesickness grows and I can't help but be a little blue.

When I was younger, I never understood how a birthday could be sad. Sure, I understood how growing old and gray was not exactly cloud nine material, but how could a birthday not always be magical? Now I think I understand. It's not just growing older, it's the memory of happier birthdays of long ago that takes the shine away from the current one. How could anything compare with the birthday you had when you were seven? When everything was splendid, down to the last crumb of cake. But the older you get, the more gaps you see in the faces that surround you. Loved ones who should be there, friends who used to make every birthday sparkle. Perhaps this is why my coming birthday is so daunting?

But the trick is to not look for the gaps. Look instead at the people who are with you! And unless you're trapped on some desert island, I'm guessing there is at least one someone who is going to wish you happy birthday. And as I look around, (mentally of course) I discover bright, joy filled, new faces that will make my birthday just as magical as it was when I was seven.

So even though I haven't completely shaken the blues, I believe I've come to a good conclusion.

Love,

-Naomi